I’m delighted to be taking part in the launch celebrations of Who Killed The Mince Spy by Matthew Redford. Who Killed The Mince Spy will be published by Clink Street on 6th December 2016 and is available for purchase in e-book and paperback here.
In celebration, as well as my review, Matthew Redford has kindly provided a guest post all about Christmas cracker jokes.
Who Killed The Mince Spy
Who Killed The Mince Spy?
Tenacious carrot, Detective Inspector Willie Wortell is back to reveal the deviously delicious mind behind the crime of the festive season in this hugely entertaining, and utterly unconventional, short story.
When Mitchell the Mince Spy is horrifically murdered by being over baked in a fan oven, it falls to the Food Related Crime team to investigate this heinous act. Why was Mitchell killed? Who is the mysterious man with a long white beard and why does he carry a syringe? Why is it that the death of a mince spy smells so good?
Detective Inspector Willie Wortel, the best food sapiens police officer, once again leads his team into a series of crazy escapades. Supported by his able homo sapiens sergeant Dorothy Knox and his less able fruit officers Oranges and Lemons, they encounter Snow White and the seven dwarf cabbages as well as having a run in with the food sapiens secret service, MI GasMark5.
With a thigh slap here, and a thigh slap there, the team know Christmas is coming as the upper classes are acting strangely – why else would there be lords a leaping, ladies dancing and maids a milking?
And if that wasn’t enough, the Government Minister for the Department of Fisheries, Agriculture and Rural Trade (DAFaRT) has only gone and given the turkeys a vote on whether they are for or against Christmas.
Let the madness begin!
This short story by Matthew Redford follows his deliciously irreverent debut Addicted To Death (Clink Street Publishing, 2015).
Three Favourite Christmas Cracker Jokes
A Guest Post by Matthew Redford
So who doesn’t like a good Christmas cracker joke? They are silly, corny, and groan-inducing but every bit a part of Christmas lunch as the turkey or the roast potatoes. Who can resist sitting around the kitchen table wearing a paper hat, pigs in blankets wrapped up cosily on your plate, reading aloud some of the worst jokes ever to have been written?
And let’s be honest, if you are forcing Brussels sprouts down your throat at least you can try and have a chuckle while doing so.
Personally, I look forward to the Christmas cracker jokes. And before you ask, I honestly haven’t been on the mulled wine before I started to write this piece. I have a daft sense of humour. I like puns. I enjoy wordplay, and so they appeal to me. I share this sense of humour with my Mum and, when he was alive, my grandfather too. For my Dad and my Nan, they look at me and Mum as we fall about laughing as though we’ve lost the plot completely, which to be fair, we probably have.
So while much derided, I am going to stick-up for the Christmas cracker joke. It is not easy to write a Christmas cracker joke. It has to be easy to understand, short, sharp and funny. They are underrated, slightly surreal and the perfect antidote for when you realise that despite having eaten those darn Brussels sprouts for the last twenty minutes, you’ve still got another five left on your plate. Seriously, do they multiple when you are not looking?
So here are my three top Christmas cracker jokes and the reasons why I think they are funny.
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even.
It’s daft, it’s funny and its food related which I like. There is also a nice musical element to the joke. So not only do you get to tell a joke, but you can sing the punch line too if you feel so inclined! Just a word of warning, which is that while you can sing a punch line, those at the kitchen table don’t appreciate it when you stand on your chair giving it the big jazz hands. Apparently that is considered ‘unnecessary and over the top’.
What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days…
And so he should, theft is no laughing matter, In fact, he should have got a lot longer than just 25 days…oh, hang on, I’ve just got it. Silly me, apologies everyone.
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A Mince Spy.
Now I had to have this one in the mix didn’t I? How could I overlook a mince spy given that I have written a food related crime story about one who gets murderously over-baked. So the mince spy is the James Bond of the Christmas food items, mysterious, spicy, rarely seen all year around and then before you know where you are, its Christmas and the mince spy is about once more!
My Review of Who Killed The Mince Spy
Mitchell the Mince Spy has been horrifically murdered by fan oven and it’s up to food sapiens police officer Detective Inspector Willie Wortel so solve the case.
Recently my dear father passed away. One thing he was always known for was his awful jokes, so I feel I’m honouring his memory by featuring a book that has equally groan worthy jokes on Linda’s Book Bag.
I’m going to be completely honest; had I not agreed to be part of the blog tour I wouldn’t have read Who Killed The Mince Spy. I rarely enjoy so-called comic writing as my sense of humour seems at odds with that of many authors. However, I did enjoy Matthew Redford’s book. It lifted my spirits at a very sad time. The puns were akin to those in my childhood from the Beano and I liked the ones based on word play especially.
Aside from the ridiculous humour though, Who Killed The Mince Spy is actually cleverly written. There are many political, social and historical references and I liked playing spot the allusion and the conceit of referring to the first story in the series too, Addicted to Death. There is also a fast paced, completely madcap, plot for readers to enjoy.
Who Killed The Mince Spy is seriously bonkers. If you have the kind of sense of humour that loved the Leslie Nielson films, for example, this book is a must.
Oh – and in the spirit of this blog post, a typical joke from my Dad in advance of his funeral on Thursday;
Q.’Why is there a cockerel on so many church spire weather-vanes?
A. ‘Because if there was a hen, it’d be too far to collect the eggs!’
About Matthew Redford
Born in 1980, Matthew Redford grew up with his parents and elder brother on a council estate in Bermondsey, south-east London. He now lives in Longfield, Kent, takes masochistic pleasure in watching his favourite football team snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, is a keen chess player and is planning future food related crime novels. To counterbalance the quirkiness of his crime fiction Redford is an accountant. His unconventional debut crime thriller, Addicted to Death: A Food Related Crime Investigation was published by Clink Street Publishing last summer.